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Character Ed For Muslim Parents Part 1

Character Ed For Muslim Parents Part 1

Back to basics

You never outgrow the need for good character. Young people need solid standards, and so do their parents. Focusing on the quality of your own character will help you teach, reinforce, advocate and model the following:

  • Trustworthiness
  • Respect
  • Responsibility
  • Fairness
  • Caring
  • Citizenship

These characters above including [ethical decision making] from the basis of honorable behavior at every age. It’s not easy, but with persistence and consistency, our future generation will have the best character there is. We will begin with *Trustworthiness and will continue to cover the remainder throughout the week. Here’s a simple guild on the do’s and don’ts when it comes to building amazing trustworthy character in your Muslim child.  

But first...what is it, What it’s not.

Trustworthiness is being honest, telling the truth, keeping promises and being loyal so people can trust you. Trustworthy people don’t lie, cheat or steal. They have integrity and the moral courage to do the right thing and stand up for their beliefs even when it is hard to do.

Honest Dos

  • Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth even when it costs more than you want to pay.
  • Be straightforward, open and direct.
  • Be sincere. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
  • It you find something that doesn't belong to you, return it.
  • Look out for the best interests of the people who depend on you.

Honest don’ts

  • Dont lie (that is, don’t misrepresent facts or opinions).
  • Don’t deliberately mislead by any means (that means don’t conceal, distort, twist or alter facts and don’t tell half-truths).
  • Don’t be devious, sneaky or tricky.
  • Don’t steal anything from anyone.
  • Don’t cheat, defraud or trick any person or group to get what you want, or to avoid trouble.  

Promise-keeping Dos

  • Be reliable; keep your word.
  • Pay your debts (watch out for those credit cards).
  • Return what you borrow.
  • Make only promises that you can and will keep.

Promise-keeping Don’ts

  • Don’t use loopholes, tricks, deceive or misleading language to get out of commitments
  • Don’t break promises.
  • Don’t keep anything that isn’t yours
  • Don’t make promises you may not be able to keep.

Loyalty Dos

  • Be careful with private information that could embarrass or hurt others.
  • Support and protect the best interests of your family, friends, teachers, employers, community and country.

Loyalty Don'ts

  • Don’t talk behind people’s backs, or spread harmful rumors or gossip.
  • Don’t lie, cheat, steal or harm others to keep or win a friendship or gain approval.
  • Don’t ask a friend to do something to do something wrong as a condition of your friendship.

Integrity Do’s

  • Share your values and beliefs with your children.
  • Discuss people who have stood up for their convictions, even when it has cost them money, security or position.
  • Share stories, news articles or magazine articles about people who show moral courage.
  • Whal your talk.
  • Talk your walk.
  • Praise your children for doing what is right, even when it’s difficult.

Integrity Don'ts

  • Don’t say one thing and mean another.
  • Don’t say one thing and do another.
  • Don’t lie to avoid difficult situations.
  • Don’t give into pressure. Make honorable decisions and carry them out.

Ideas

Write the do’s on a poster. Place the poster in your living room to read over *together as a family* for 30 days before bedtime. Why before bedtime? Simple: it’s the last thing on your child’s mind. What will reaside in their subconouse will reflect outwardly when dealing with the world.

Interesting fact
 It takes 21 days to form a new habit (or 30 days or some other magic number). Food for thought: If the “magic number is 30 days”, Ramadan is 30 days. WOW! Right. So if we seriously take Ramadan as a way to shift our own behavior *Mom, Dad*,  then our children, this Ummah would progress tremendously. I’m just sayin’. ;)

Future benefit
When cultivating the characteristic of *Trustworthiness in your child at a young age, 100% of the time they will project these behaviors in all areas of life; whether in marriage, with their own kids, friends, neighbors, or business dealing. In business transactions, honesty, trustworthiness, and fair dealings are an obligation to Allah. When dealing with others, we are dealing with the All Mighty God. Cheating, concealing the defects of merchandise, or taking advantage of someone′s ignorance is sinful. Allah states in the Quran:

“And if one of you deposits something on trust with another, let the trustee discharge his trust, and fear his Sustainer.” (Al Baqara: 283)

“Give full measure when you measure, and weigh with a straight balance. That is the most fitting and most advantageous in the final determination.” (Al Israa: 35)

“O you who believe! Whenever you give or take credit for a stated term, set it down in writing. And call upon two of you as witnesses; and if two men are not available, then a man and two women from among such as are acceptable to you as witnesses, so that if one of them should make a mistake, The other could remind her. (Al Baqara: 282)

Honesty and trust go hand in hand. According to Prophet Muhammad (SAW) is also true, he said, "The worst lie is to distrust another." Distrust is a root cause for distress in social relations, opening the door to many evils. A good person thinks of others as good while an evil person suspects others of being the same as he is. Suspicion destroys friendships and unity. Another side to distrust is the fact that it does not allow people to accept the reasons given by the person suspected. The blessed Prophet (SAW) said "Anyone who does not accept the explanation of defense given by his brother is a great tyrant". Always remember to look for and appreciate the virtues of others and overlook their shortcomings". By avoiding suspicion and overlooking each other's shortcomings, people can learn to trust again. To trust and be trusted is essential in mending social relations.

Betraying a trust is a grave sin. Disclosing secrets is another breach of trust which destroys family ties. Protecting the trusts Allah gave us is also a serious matter. The deeper meaning of trustworthiness is to preserve all of the blessings that were granted to us by Allah. One′s fortunes and family members are trusts that should be paid back. So, this is a serious matter deserving our immediate attention.

Let′s not contribute to this crisis of mistrust which plagues the world but be a part of the solution using the inspiration of Prophet Muhammad (SAW). The concept of trust seems so basic, we often take it for granted. Yet, it is the key to social change. Do we always return the trusts be they big or small in due time? Trust is a measure of faith. How deep is our faith? Remember, the more people trust a person for his money, lives, and honor, the deeper the faith of that person is! Are we able to trust and be trusted? Source: usislam.org

Next blog post: April 18, 2018 Topic: Responsibility. You don’t want to miss out!

What are your struggle with your Muslim kids? What do you do that help you raise your child? Share your thoughts below. 

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